How to raise a turtle’s cholesterol
Posted on | May 2, 2005 | 7 Comments
When the weather is nice (which means, not scorchingly hot and humid), I like to take my lunch on a bench in a little park not far from where I work. The offices around this park are all abandoned and there’s a nice big pond that is stocked with a gazillion fish that has also been adopted by numerous turtles. The pond is bi-level, with a small “falls” that pours over a retaining wall to keep things from becoming stagnant. All in all, it covers at least an acre.
Today, I was sitting there reading Brian Keene’s upcoming Terminal when I dropped a french fry on the ground. Rather than leave it under the bench for the crows, I chucked it into the pond. It was immediately attacked by a horde of unseen fish, reminiscent of a scene from Piranha. The fry fairly danced as the water boiled beneath it. But a small turtle cleared a path through the fish and snatched up the snack for himself. He ended up with a couple of more fries before I was done (so absorbed in this gripping novel that I wasn’t paying close enough attention to what I was doing otherwise), and I got to thinking later that maybe I shouldn’t be feeding junk food to the amphibians. I don’t know if they were cooked in animal fat or not, and I don’t want to be responsible for raising the poor creature’s cholesterol level.
The new issue of Accent is online. I have reviews of I Am Charlotte Simmons (Tom Wolfe), Prime (Poppy Z. Brite), The Limits of Enchantment (Graham Joyce) and Double Homicide (Jonathan and Faye Kellerman) in this issue.
My flash fiction story “Your Shoes” is now up at the Twilight Tales web site. This is the tale that tied for second place at the World Horror flash fiction contest, as judged by Ellen Datlow, F. Paul Wilson, and the Clarkes (aka Michael Slade).
I turned in my CD #53 column today and cleared my desk of pending reviews, so now it’s time to turn my attention to other matters. I have a stack of submission guidelines for current anthologies that I may peruse, but I’m also percolating another novel (I think I mentioned this last time) and I wrote the opening two pages this weekend, based on something that came to me (where else) in the shower one morning.
My wife and I are going to attend the Stoker banquet in LA in June. We decided that just being nominated was a big enough deal to go out for a day or so. I’ll probably have a reading on Saturday morning (June 25) and participate in the signing at Dark Delicacies (that’s worth a trip by itself, I think!) on Saturday afternoon. Time to drag out the tux and make sure it still fits.
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About
Bev Vincent is the author of The Road to the Dark Tower, the Bram Stoker Award nominated companion to Stephen King's Dark Tower series, and The Stephen King Illustrated Companion, which was nominated for a 2010 Edgar® Award and a 2009 Bram Stoker Award.
His short fiction has appeared in places like Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine, From the Borderlands and The Blue Religion. He is a contributing editor with Cemetery Dance magazine and a member of the Storytellers Unplugged blogging community. He also writes book reviews for Onyx Reviews.
May 2nd, 2005 @ 4:28 pm
Thanks for the nice review, Bev. I only have one quibble (is it possible for a writer to read a review and have none?):
Their relationship isn’t perfect; they keep secrets and tell lies
Emphatically not so; one of the main points I attempt to make about their relationship in Prime (and most of the related works) is that they’re pretty much incapable of lying to each other or keeping secrets for any length of time.
Have fun at Dark Delicacies and tell Del and Sue hi. What a great store!
May 2nd, 2005 @ 5:57 pm
I am looking forward to this and await with great anticipation reading your final thoughts on Keene’s book.
Thanks
Lou
PS – Watch those fries.
May 3rd, 2005 @ 8:06 am
Very impressive flash, Bev. I didn’t get the point right away, but then wow!
May 3rd, 2005 @ 8:28 am
I’ll see your quibble and raise you a haggle!
It seemed that there were times when they grappled with themselves over telling the other person about something awkward going on in their lives. Eventually they would come clean, but there wasn’t complete transparency all the time–which wouldn’t be realistic.
I’m looking forward to Dark Delicacies. I’ve heard so much about it. I’ve met Del at WHC, and he and I are both characters in a Michael Slade novel.
May 3rd, 2005 @ 8:30 am
This was a great book. It has several different stages — a long setup, then a section that reminds me of a cross between The Mist and The Green Mile and a resolution that doesn’t cheat. It also has the funniest, most blasphemous prayer scene I’ve ever read.
May 3rd, 2005 @ 8:31 am
I’m glad you liked it — I enjoy writing very short stories every now and then. They help me tighten up my writing and I can focus on just one, very specific idea and try to get it across briefly.
May 3rd, 2005 @ 11:40 pm
OK, I can live with that.