Bridesmaid or bride?

In a few hours, we’ll be jetting off to LA for the HWA weekend and Stoker Awards ceremony. My wife expects that I’ll win the non-fiction Stoker for The Road to the Dark Tower and I’ve had a few other people tell me they think I’ll win, but I can’t allow myself to think along those lines. I can’t go into tomorrow night expecting to win and then have to deal with a huge letdown if I don’t. The other nominees are all worthy candidates and any one of them could win. At first I didn’t even plan to go to the ceremony, but then I decided that the honor of being nominated for an Award like this was worthy celebrating all by itself. So we’re going to get all dressed up and have a good time regardless of how it turns out.

I can’t think of another situation where I have been laid bare before my peers, awaiting the final verdict. Sure, I’ve entered contests before, even won a couple, but this seems more immediate. For contests, you can send something away and push it from your mind until the winners are announced — although I will confess to being pumped up waiting to hear how my story “These Shoes” was going to do at the Twilight Tales Flash Fiction contest at WHC 2005. (it tied for second). By the time the non-fiction category comes up tomorrow night, I may well be a nervous wreck, and if I win I may end up babbling nonsense for my acceptance speech. (You like me, you really like me!).

I do know that, one way or the other, I will be on that stage — I’m presenting the Specialty Press Award.

This may be my only Stoker nomination, so we’re going to make the most of it. Push thoughts of competition from my mind until the banquet begins and just have a helluva good time meeting up with old friends, making new ones, reading my stories in public, signing at Dark Delicacies and schmoozing.

I did leave a little extra space in my suitcase in case I have something delicate to bring back home with me, but that’s just being prudent!