My hobby is silence

Tutto su Stephen King should be available tomorrow. My first work to be translated into Italian, to the best of my knowledge.

I finished Djibouti by Elmore Leonard this weekend. I enjoyed the book overall, though there was one decision he made that I wasn’t so sure about. A lot of the story is told by a documentary filmmaker and her right-hand man as they’re going through all their footage, rehashing a lot of stuff that they already know. “As you know, Jim…” dialog, although in this case it’s “Remember when so-and-so…” The concept of writing about the documentary process is interesting because it allows Leonard to discuss what makes a good story, but I would rather have seen some of the events Dara and Xavier discuss than read them talking about them. Full review to come.

Now I’m reading Bad Boy, the latest Inspector Banks novel by Peter Robinson. It’s amazing how much fuss the discovery of a loaded hand gun can cause in the UK. They have to call out the armed response unit and storm the house, whereas over here no one would have flinched. Inspector Banks is on vacation in San Francisco, so we get to see an English-born Canadian writer depict a British subject in America.

I went to see The Town yesterday. Early afternoon matinée, five bucks. Can’t beat that with a stick. I was going to get some popcorn but one teenager managed to get the machine to throw scalding hot kernels all over the place, to the fascination of the remaining teenagers running the place, so the line ground to a halt. Made it through the movie without popcorn, so their ineptitude saved me more than the movie admission! The movie was well done. It’s an adaptation of Chuck Hogan’s The Prince of Thieves, which I reviewed shortly after the book came out. The film is loyal to the book, though it dispenses with or minimizes certain things. The relationship between the FBI agent (John Hamm) and the bank manager is gone, as is Ben Affleck’s sports car obsession. It’s good to see Hamm in a contemporary plot, with a bit of swagger in his step. I laughed when he handed off the note he found on his car near the end. “It’s for you.” The car chase scenes were harrowing, as was the gun play toward the end. My biggest complaint was that I couldn’t make out about half of what Jeremy Renner (Hurt Locker) said. He mumbled worse than Brando. Rebecca Hall was excellent as the bank manager.

Did anyone change places during this week’s Amazing Race? Seems to me that they all came in the same way they started. The volleyball team were sore losers when they got to Elimination Station. We didn’t deserve to be eliminated, because we’re better than everyone else, they said. Behind their backs, the others got a good laugh out of that. We’ll, obviously not, or else you wouldn’t be here.

OK, raise your hand if you figured out in advance that Angel was going to blunder into something completely different than what he expected on Dexter. They worked too hard to lay all the signs that La Guerta was having an affair with the Internal Affairs guy. That whole subplot to introduce Peter Weller, who gets hooked up with Quinn who puts him on Dexter’s trail? Working awfully hard.

I have to say that those were the two grossest cadavers I think I’ve ever seen on television. Bugs all over the place. Ewww. Didn’t bother Deb much, though. And what was the deal with the tattoo artist’s secret handshake with Deb? She did it twice, twisting their hands sideways. Some cultural clue I’m not up on? And I had to laugh at Masuka’s leopard print thong underwear.

It was a surprise to see Lumen at large. I thought the season was going to be about Dexter trying to manage a captive. Julia Stiles is so good as the traumatized victim. I was sure she was going to lose it completely during her pat-down at the airport, but it was even more effective that she didn’t freak out, was just constantly on the verge of breaking down. Of course she wasn’t going to catch that flight. Dexter’s about to embark on the Hero’s Journey. Lumen issued the call to action, and he, of course, resisted. Inevitably he will  accept.

The funniest bit of the episode, though, was Harrison’s adventures with the other children. “Not even a year old  and you’re already destroying evidence and leaving the scene of the crime.” The Irish nanny pooh-poohed his fears. “My little brother used to bite people Now he’s a vegetarian, works for Greenpeace.” Come on, doesn’t Dexter ever trim the kid’s fingernails?

Today’s subject line quote comes from Leon Russell.

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It’s all an act with dogs

A little more TV catchup. Thankfully Fringe wasn’t on last night or I’d be swamped. CSI took on hoarders last night in a way that cable television doesn’t. That was a woman with a serious obsession, wanting even the dead pen that her case worker had loaned her daughter momentarily to fill out a form. My wife’s uncle was something of a hoarder. We cleaned out his apartment after he died and I found an air conditioning unit in one room, though it took us a couple of days to get the point where it was visible. There were stacks of boxes that you had to navigate, something like the tubs on that episode. The place was fairly clean, though. We found no dead bodies.

The Mentalist took a page from Dick Francis, staging a murder mystery around the world of horse racing. Also used the “evil twin” trope, except in this case the so-called evil twin was a horse. Poor Van Pelt, trying so hard to get involved in the case because she grew up around horses, and then Jane risks her life on a hunch. Nice guy. No pizza for him. Lisbon got to throw around her favorite epithet one more time (“sheep dip,” for the record) and Jane spent $5000 to win $500 to prove a point. Lisbon also got into a horse race with the culprit at the end. Favorite line of the show takes place in a scene where Cho is expressing his disdain for horses and dogs. “It’s all an act with dogs. They do it for the food.” Rigsby has a good comeback. “We all do.” To which Cho responds, “That’s deep.” I also like it that they took off after the wrong woman, who bolted because she had a bench warrant against her.

I also caught up on the third episode of Law & Order: UK. I don’t remember the original L&O episodes well enough to see how these scripts are derived from its progenitor, but I liked the forensic reveal that proved the lie in the defendant’s claims. And The Event is still on my radar, though I have to confess that it’s primarily because of Vicky and Leila, who are both easy on the eyes.

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A heavy traffic zone

I’ve become a stand-up guy. My kangaroo arrived last night. The UPS guy wrestled it to the door. It was in a massive box, and weighed about 40 lbs. Solid construction, and the wooden platform matches my work desk perfectly. I took it into the office, but didn’t get around to setting it up until mid-afternoon. It became an instant attraction. People were coming from all over the building to see it.

I’ve been badly out of sync on my television viewing this week. I’ve had things taped (okay, recorded. I’ll begrudgingly give into the anachronism.) I finally got around to watching Sons of Anarchy, which is building up towards something potentially cataclysmic. An SoA vs. the IRA Smackdown. Most of SAMCRO is on their way to Belfast, thinking no one knows they’re coming when in fact everyone does. On the flip side, only Piney and Tig are left behind, along with a bunch of prospects, to hold down the fort, just when the former Calveras president has an ax to grind. Did they seriously not think the guy would be raring to get even?

I feel smugly pleased with myself for figuring out the truth about Trinny. I suspected it right from the beginning, and I felt like my suspicions were validated by the exchange of glances between Gemma and Clay when Clay asked Gemma to talk to Maureen “mom to mom.” Then it was confirmed straight out by the photograph Maureen dug out of her lock box: Trinny is John Teller’s daughter and Jax’s half sister. Gemma says to Tara, “Secret babies are a bad idea,” but she’s thinking about her late husband’s indiscretions.

And I think that Tara’s boss was far too eager to sock her in the face, even though her reason for doing so was sound.

My favorite exchanges of the episode:

Opie, after Jax’s ill-advised night: That was a high traffic zone you were ripping through last night.
Jax: Let’s go find my kid—figure out what we’re doing with our dicks later on.

Clay, handing over Gemma’s cockatoo to one of the prospects: Anything happens to this bird, Gemma will stuff you in this cage, make you wear a beak and shit on newspapers.
Prospect: That sounds fair.

Actually, I starting to like one of the prospects. “What? Caffeine is a mood booster,” he says to his partner in crime after offering Jax a morning drink.

Hey, Jeff Strand—you out there? Talk to me out this year’s Survivor. Pretty lame? Definitely not up to the high standards of the past few seasons, in my opinion. Marty’s an interesting character (I loved the way he pulled off the chess master gag by invoking the name of some 1970s tennis player), but it all feels, I dunno, disorganized. Like no one really has a plan they’re willing to stick to for more than a few minutes.

Criminal Minds was suitably creepy this week. I knew they were messing with us when the minister picked up the hitchhiker, playing with our expectations (and of course, the minister had to leer and look evil). I didn’t quite buy the kid, though. Sure he was a sociopath, but I didn’t find him credible.

SVU managed to avoid most of the proselytizing this week. At first I thought it was going to be about animal smuggling and using skins for clothes, but it was actually a serious story about a human crisis. I can’t figure out how the girl’s father knew he had a daughter, though. And the coincidence of the mother hearing her daughter’s laugh on the street was a tad too slick to credit. It’s okay for Alexander McCall Smith to talk about Edinburgh as a small town where everyone runs into everyone else, but not New York. Hell, I live in a community of fewer than 100,000 people and I hardly ever run into people I know.

Law & Order: LA started off with a dramatic and brutal explosion. I couldn’t believe they would do that to kids, but I totally bought the mother’s reaction. Then the show almost veered off into SVU territory, with its preachiness about domestic terrorists. I liked the Terrence Howard’s ADA character’s gambit in the trial, dropping everything that referred to the terrorism case. A stroke of brilliance that almost came back to bite him on the butt, but didn’t.

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Lighting a fuse

Instead of watching NCIS, I’m tuned in to the Elton John / Leon Russell live concert on fuse.tv. Today is the launch day for their new duet album, The Union, produced by T-Bone Burnett and featuring such guest performers as Neil Young and Brian Wilson. Russell was big back in the late 60s and 70s and was one of Elton John’s strongest influences. While listening to some of Russell’s classics a couple of years ago, he decided to reach out to the performer, who had been at one of EJ’s Troubadour concerts, the ones that launched him in America. They toured briefly back then, but had little contact in the interim. EJ came up with the idea of doing a duet to bring Russell back into the spotlight, and the two of them wrote songs, along with Bernie Taupin. Russell reminds me of a cross between Santa Claus, Willie Nelson and the husband of one of my coworkers. He growls and mumbles more than he sings these days, but he can still tickle the ivories. I listened to The Union a few times during my round trip to San Antonio on Sunday and I like it quite a bit. It has elements that remind me of some of EJ’s albums, from Tumbleweed Connection to Too Low for Zero to The Road to El Dorado to The Big Picture, but it also has this gospel bluesy country feel that’s pretty cool. One of the amazing things about this story is that Russell had brain surgery just before they went into the studio. Can you imagine? Bracketed by solo performances, this fuse concert features the two men playing the entire album (along with band and brass and backing singers).

My wife got me a computer game as a stocking stuffer for Christmas a few years ago. CSI: Dark Motives, it’s called. I used to play adventure games like Rogue and Larn and Zork back in the early computer days, but not so much since then. I haven’t really had the time or the patience. The last one I played was probably Phantasmagoria, which I enjoyed. I’ve never gotten into any of the Nintendo, Game Boy, Wii modules. My daughter used to try to get me to play some of the more rudimentary games, like Mario Brothers, but not enough for me to figure out the controllers. For some reason, I dug out the CSI game recently and installed it for the first time. It’s actually the kind of game I enjoy: solving puzzles, putting things together, with the added benefit of an online mechanism that keeps track of it all so you don’t have to make notes. Imagine my surprise when I unlocked the extra features on the first module and found out it was written by Max Allan Collins, who I’ve gotten to interact a bit with lately at The Big Adios.

Jennifer Morrison, the actress who plays Cameron on House was a guest on How I Met Your Mother this week, which airs opposite…House! It took me a couple of scenes to recognize her out of context, just as she took me by surprise as Kirk’s mother on the reboot Star Trek movie. Her HIMYM character was fun, an activist that Ted is smitten by who’s a little bit nuts.

Castle was a touch lightweight this week, yanking a perpetrator out of the hat at the last second, someone who wasn’t really a series contender up until that moment, I thought. Then there was the schmaltzy scene with Castle and Beckett coming to the young lovers’ rescue, burgers and all, though I did like the way Beckett told Castle she’d bail him out if he ever got into trouble. It was a nice moment that took Castle off guard.

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It’s only bullets whistling by

Rubicon ended with a whimper, not a bang. And I really thought we’d hear that bang, or something like one. We still have no indication whether or not the series will be renewed for a second season, so there are some open questions that are worth pondering. First: Andy. Tom Rhumor left a posthumous video message for Katherine, telling her to go to a specific apartment, and it turns out to be Andy’s. Was it always Andy’s, or did Tom’s secret get intercepted after he died, in which case did Andy take over the place from someone else (presumably someone who didn’t fare well)? Her behavior at Central Park was odd, but it could have meant one of two things. Despite her protestations, she may have really wanted to get Katherine to the park because that was a good place for the killer to strike. On the other hand, she may have truly not anticipated the murder, but ducked out because she didn’t want to see Will. Remains to be seen (I hope).  Second: Why didn’t Will pick up the DVD—or did he even need it by that point? Finally, what of Truxton Spangler? In his final confrontation with Will, I fully expected one of two things: either for him to take a header off the building or vanish back inside the building, long pause, gunshot. The very bang I was anticipating. Of course, he’s a spoiled brat who doesn’t listen to others even when they’ve voted him off the tribe. (Apparently the season finale went through at least three major revisions, each with a different fate for Spangler.) I do hope the series gets picked up. It’s a quirky show, but I like it. I busted a gut when Tanya’s quitting turned out to be a non-sequitur to Grant’s announcement that he’d been promoted. Also, since I was expecting Truxton to take the four-leafed clover solution, I wondered if Grant’s promotion would get squashed.

The Mad Men finale was equally low key. There were monumental changes, but they weren’t earth shattering. Or were they? Megan stepped up to the plate again, playing Marie von Trapp on the California trip and it’s no wonder that Don saw a family in the making when he saw the kids and her together at the diner. And when she didn’t go ballistic when Sally spilled the drink (Betty would have been roaring), he saw a chance for a new life. It was unexpected, unless you subscribe to Chekhov’s “gun in Act 1” thesis, as pertained to the fortuitous inheritance of an engagement ring. Don looked more relaxed on that vacation than I’ve ever seen him Collapsing on the bed, doing the cannonball in the pool, actually playing with the kids.

Not everyone was thrilled. Peggy, for one. And, of course, Faye. Betty tried her best to act like she was supportive (for once), but it’s clear that she’s probably regretting everything she set into motion. She’s destroying all of her relationships. Glen got off the episodes zinger: Just because you’re sad doesn’t mean everyone has to be. (By the way, I found out today that Glen is played by the show’s creator’s son!) The reveal of the episode was that Joan didn’t go through with the abortion (though many people suspected that might be the case). And the momentary detente between her and Peggy was unexpected and welcome.

There was a nice symmetry in this week’s Dexter. At the beginning, Dexter was tenderly anointing Lumen’s wounds, and at the end she was anointing his, although in fairness she inflicted that wound herself. I was wondering how he was possibly going to get himself out of this situation, saddled with a prisoner, but that doesn’t seem to be the case any more. She’s no longer his prisoner, she’s going to be his cause, it seems. People have done her wrong and he’s going to take it upon himself to become her champion. I guess.

Stiles is scrawny to begin with, but she looked positively feral in her first few scenes. Well played. I wonder if there’s even the remotest of possibilities that at the end of all this she and Dexter will end up together. She might make the perfect partner for him: damaged like Rita but fully aware of Dexter’s, um, quirks.

Posted in Dexter, Mad Men, Rubicon, Uncategorized | Comments Off on It’s only bullets whistling by

Bartleby

My Storytellers Unplugged essay Ch-ch-ch-changes went live yesterday. In it I discuss my general resistance to changing something that I’ve used for a long time and my plans to try out a new writing program called Scrivener for my revisions to the novel I’m working on. Well, not exactly new, but new to Windows after a few years availability for Macs.

The Apex Publications Store is having a one-day-only sale today on Close Encounters of the Urban Kind, the anthology that features my Halloween Contest winning story “The Fingernail Test.” Get the anthology for 40% off and also have your name put in for a raffle of awesome prizes: A critique Apex Magazine Fiction Editor, Cat Valente, or $25 gift card for Amazon.com, or an Apex Minion pack, or a $10 gift certificate to the Apex Store.

Yesterday was my second monthly trip to San Antonio for the Candlelight Writers critique group. We had it during the day this time instead of the evening, which meant I had to be on the road by 9 a.m. and didn’t get home until 6:30 p.m. Makes for a long day. We had a good meeting, though.

I got caught up on some recorded TV programs, too. That character in the black latex outfit on CSI was one of the creepiest things I’ve seen in a while. The way he moved, slinking, arching his back, spider-walking. Weird. Hopefully we’ll see more of him soon.

There was a nice parallel on Fringe between the shapeshifters who grew attached to the people they were pretending to be related to and Faux-livia’s growing attachment to the people she’s working with. I think it’s time to declare a moratorium on the surprise side collision shot, though, as it has grown to be nothing more than a cheap trick. The episode was chock full of Walter goodness, especially pertaining to his drug use. “I do some of my finest work self medicated,” he claimed. Later, Astrid comments on the fact that he got her name right, something he never does. “Must be the L.S.D.,” he responds. Then, later, when things start to get hairy: “One thing I do know for sure—I’m no longer high.” But my favorite was the scene in the elevator when he turns to the shapeshifter and says, conversationally, “Did you know the stegosaurus had a brain in its ass?”

Cho gets off a few good zingers in The Mentalist, too. As always. His pithy delivery lets him dole out some pretty long ones. “Three hours of burning silence and then sarcasm. It’s like we’re married,” he says to Rigsby. It was fun seeing Patrick back in familiar territory, on stage, doing his tricks. His interactions with the shooter were revealing, too. We see that he’s still trying to figure out if his obsession has meaning, and he was validated by the murder victim’s husband.

One thing people learn on The Amazing Race is how quickly things can change. One bad taxi ride, one earlier flight, one disaster of a roadblock and it can be all over. The father/son team who were on the verge of being eliminated, who had to perform one extra challenge, leaped up to the middle of the pack simply because they were able to get an earlier flight than half the teams. That gave them extra time for their supplemental task. They also chose well in doing the tent construction as I think the father might have killed himself on those sleds.

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Another quiet night in the Hotel California

I received my copy of the hardbound omnibus of American Vampire last night. I’ve only read the first installment until now because the local shop stopped carrying the series for a while. I still find that I have a hard time reading graphic novels. I tend to gloss over the images. I know they’re all the rage, and I know a bunch of people who are involved in them at present, and I’d probably sign up to do one if anyone were crazy enough to ask, but I still don’t quite get it.

Got word today that my Kangaroo was shipped. Should have it by next week sometime. Unfortunately I’ll be spending most of next week in seminars, so I won’t get much of a chance to test it out until the following week.

Oh, yeah. I just remembered I have to write a Storytellers Unplugged essay for this Sunday. Wonder what I’ll write about. Any suggestions?

I’ve been listening to “The Union,” the new duet album with Elton John and Leon Russell. NPR is streaming the entire album until its release date next Tuesday. It’s definitely a change of pace for an EJ album, and every time I hear Russell I can’t help but think of Willie Nelson. Neil Young can be heard doing vocals on at least one track (Shiloh), and Brian Wilson’s in there somewhere, too. Produced by T-Bone Burnett and recorded “live” in the studio.

This has been an odd season of Survivor so far. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many physically strong characters get ousted so early in the season. They did a major retooling last night, with the tribes co-mingling and the Medallion of Power is history. I liked the waterwheel challenge. Jeff made fun of one team regarding how slow they were, but it turns out they had a pretty good strategy because it was all about delivering the water.

Criminal Minds blew the lid off the secret world of wife-swapping. Well, okay, not really, but it was really funny when Prentiss and Morgan were mistaken for Jehovah’s Witnesses and then were welcomed into the swingers’ pad as if they were role-playing swingers. I’m afraid I’m not in the Garcia camp—I find her character far less credible than Abby on NCIS—but I had to grin at Hotch’s comment at the end that he knew she was unique from the moment she sent in her job application on homemade pink paper.

So “Fin” Tutuola on Law & Order: SVU is really “Odefin.” Huh. Never knew that before. They really oversold Olivia’s drug trip in the preview for this week. I thought Eliot’s bit where he pretended to be high to get a continuance was better. Munch ended up in uniform for no apparent good reason, but he got off the zinger “By who? Smurfs?” when Huang said the victim had been poisoned with magic mushrooms. The new ADA ended up being as temporary as their new headquarters. And, boy, are they scraping the bottom of the heap when it comes to issues for their patented Public Service Announcements. Bent out of shape because a soda company sponsored something? There was a latent Chinatown vibe with the whole water rights thing, but that was mostly a red herring.

Law & Order: Los Angeles (the source of today’s subject line) was pretty good again. I knew the bald cop was going to roll the joint. (“Misspent youth and three years in vice.”) And the guy who plays Jacob Hale on Sons of Anarchy is a surfer dude working in a grow-op shop! Molina’s character was definitely wearing his lower-middle-class upbringing on his sleeve as he tackled the entitlement attitude of the rich folks. Day trips to the beach when he was a kid “made all the rest bearable,” he told the rich dude who wanted those damn kids off his sandy lawn!

Posted in Criminal Minds, Law and Order: LA, Survivor, SVU | Comments Off on Another quiet night in the Hotel California

How’s the dog?

The Evolve author/editor chat at Bitten By Books is still going on until noon tomorrow. Drop by and ask one or all of us questions and enter the contest to win valuable prizes. (Real valuable prizes, not NECON valuable prizes.)

As I write this, thirty-one of the thirty-three Chilean miners have reached the surface. The second one up, the first thing he asked his wife was, “How’s the dog?” How do you say “doghouse” in Spanish? Well, how about the 21st guy up, who was greeted by his mistress rather than by his wife. They found out about each other shortly after the crisis began. The guy might have been safer staying in the mine.

I’m glad I stuck with Haven through its first season. The finale had some surprises, introducing a new villain and then almost immediately killing him off in the most surprising way. And the explanation for all the cracks—I definitely did not see that coming. Even the revelation of Audrey’s nature was a late-season surprise that deserves a payoff next year. My favorite line of the episode was Duke addressing the daughter of the recently deceased medical examiner: Coming to dislike me up close?

The Event is sort of petering out. This week’s episode used a gimmick that is getting very old. I first saw it used in Silence of the Lambs. The cops approach a house where they believe they will find the bad guys. A camera accompanies the cops. Another camera accompanies the bad guys inside the house. Then the big reveal: they’re two different houses. It was effective that first time—now it just feels like a stale gimmick. I did like the trick with the blanks—that one surprised me. However, it feels like the show has lost its forward momentum.

Sons of Anarchy ended on a note that was like the calm before the storm. Tomorrow they’re on their way to Belfast, but tonight, the couples are together in bed—even Agent Stahl. All except Tara, who is now by herself, while Jax gives the porn star “a ride home.” Chucky gets a chance to act like his own crazy self again. Do we know what the deal is between Tig and the guy who wanted to transfer? I don’t remember, but there must be some history there. And is Stahl using Gemma as a way of dumping her lover. And by “dump” I mean “send down the river.” Darby keeps showing up like a bad penny, fomenting trouble whenever he does. My favorite line of the episode came from Hale: “Why are you sharing this with me and my pie?”

Here are some book reviews I posted on Onyx Reviews lately:  The Masuda Affair by I.J. Parker, Moonlight Mile by Dennis Lehane, The Reversal by Michael Connelly and Painted Ladies by Robert B. Parker.

Posted in Sons of Anarchy, The Event | Comments Off on How’s the dog?

This is not Woody Allen

Join editor Nancy Kilpatrick and authors from Evolve: Vampire Stories of the New Undead (including me) tomorrow on the Bitten by Books online launch event from noon central on Wednesday, through to noon central on Thursday. Post your question for an author to answer, and pick up a copy of Evolve on the Amazon.com link tomorrow. RSVP before the event to get additional entries in the contest. Prizes: 1 – $30 Amazon Electronic Gift Card; 1 – $20.00 Amazon Electronic Gift Card; 1 – $15.00 Amazon Electronic Gift Card.

I finished Painted Ladies by Robert B. Parker yesterday afternoon. It’s probably not fair to call it a novel—more of a novella, based on how long it took me to read it. It was very much like any other Spenser novel, with the exception being that Hawk was away on CIA business. The most notable thing about it is that Spenser confessed to having a first name. He revealed it to another character, but not to readers.

Specters in Coal Dust starts shipping today. Can’t wait to hear what people think of this anthology.

It took me a while to figure out that the guy who kept showing up like Waldo in just about every scene of How I Met Your Mother this week was Maury Povich. I knew it was the same guy—I’m just not familiar enough with him to recognize him on sight.

I liked that they included the classic Stephen J. Cannell producer credit clip at the end of last night’s Castle. You know the one, where he’s sitting at the typewriter and rips out the sheet and tosses it into the air, where it becomes animated. The episode was pretty good, too, with the running gag of Esposito constantly getting hurt, like the character in the Brewster Rockit comic strip (a Wesley Crusher analog) who’s always getting his spleen yanked out or pulverized. The episode tackled steampunk and time travel (loved the guy who opened the door to the private club). Still, the funniest scene involved Castle getting chewed out by the cop for hitting the wrong target at the shooting range, and the second funniest was the dialog surrounding the discovery of the dead squirrel in the tree. “Aw, no, they took his clothes, too,” Castle says. And then some cop off screen goes “Awwwww” when Ryan handed the squirrel carcass to him. I spotted one continuity glitch. Ryan says “It’s exactly like the one that killed Goldstein” and Castle responds, “Yes, it does.” Guess Ryan was supposed to say “It looks exactly like…” Writer-geek moment of the show: Castle says that Alexis’s first word was denouement. “I stressed story structure from an early age,” he explains.

Funniest bit on House last night was when Chase let the new doctor go. He was all set to offer her a second chance, on House’s say-so, when she said she couldn’t date him if they were co-workers. “Sorry it didn’t work out,” Chase says, without missing a beat. “How about dinner?”

Dexter has been in some pretty sticky situations over the years, but the one he ends up in at the end of this week’s episode seems like the worst he’s ever experienced. First there was the whole Laurel and Hardy bit with him and Boyd tranquilizing each other. That could have been catastrophic if Boyd hadn’t decided to handle things on his own. Of course, once we found out later that he brings his work home with him, it explains why he wouldn’t want to get on the police radar. So then Dexter zaps him again (“The could have gone smoother,” he observes) and does what he does so well (winging it to the point of wearing Boyd’s apron with the ironic logo Natural Born Griller) though it didn’t do for him what he was hoping. But then the unthinkable happens—there’s a witness, and what a witness. Julia Stiles looking like death warmed over. What the hell does he do now? The only obvious solution is to get rid of her, but she’s the epitome of the innocent victim. Looks like he’s going to have his work cut out for him now, keeping a prisoner while juggling work and a baby, with Quinn breathing down his neck to boot. Dexter always has four crises to handle at once. By the way, does anyone think the Irish nanny is going to factor into things somehow? Maybe it’s just my mistrust of Irish guardians engendered by Sons of Anarchy.

Posted in Castle, Dexter, House | Comments Off on This is not Woody Allen

I didn’t think he’d be first

I was going to start Elmore Leonard’s new novel, Djibouti, next, but I decided to breeze through the new Spenser novel by Robert B. Parker first, Painted Ladies. I have it on my Kindle and read the first 1/3 of it in about half an hour. At this rate, I should be done with it by end of day. It has to do with Dutch art stolen by the Nazis and people who are so desperate to keep Spenser from pursuing his line of inquiry that they bomb his bed. Oh, and Pearl has a couple of dates with a dog named Otto.

I felt really bad for the father/son team on The Amazing Race. They’re so good together, and they’ve fared reasonably well to date. Thankfully they got a bit of a reprieve. It’s funny that only one team managed to find the decoder key. Not a single one of the others looked back over his shoulder to see it while bugging out to the other option. I wonder if they’ll get to see it the next day when they spend time working on the schools, which is a nice touch by the way.

Finally, someone on Rubicon uttered the word “Rubicon,” and even explained the reference. Of course it was Kale Ingram, probably the only guy who knows everything about everything on the show. I knew Catherine Rhumer was going to leave the safe house the minute Maggie left her alone. Don’t these people watch television at all? And finally something got to Spangler. He was all a-jitter while trying to sneak a smoke in his office. He issued another one of those heavy-handed thank-you speeches that usually means “I’m going to send someone to kill you.”

I think it’s hilarious that Don Draper wrote a letter-ad to the NY Times on Mad Men, summarizing his reasons for giving up tobacco. Clearly he didn’t mean the consumption of tobacco, because Stirling, Cooper, Draper, etc. is still smokier than Chicago during the great fire. Rather, as Megan so astutely put it, he dumped them instead of them dumping him. No more advertising a product that kills people. More irony as they all sit around the boardroom table smoking and discussing whether or not to do a public service ad for the American Cancer Society. Was Don inspired to kick his company’s addiction to cigarette companies by staring at Midge’s heroin-influenced painting? (And, boy, hasn’t she tumbled since her days as Don’s #1 mistress in season 1?)

Then it was on to the layoffs, which Roger prefaced by saying he had to go learn a bunch of people’s names so he could fire them. I got a great kick out of the reaction to Bert Cooper’s departure (the subject line of today’s post). What does Cooper do for the firm except lend it his name? So maybe Peggy will get her way after all: retool the company’s name without Cooper (and they could drop Stirling, too, for all he does for them these days).

And isn’t it funny that Betty Draper gets her best comfort out of a child psychologist? And Sally is getting dual treatment: professional therapy from the same psychologist and her free-wheeling philosophical discussions with Glen.

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